I like you, okay. I know it's ridiculous and I know you don't care. But I do, I care. It's my feelings and I'm the one experiencing it. There was one point of time when you ignored me. Do you know how hurtful and worried I felt? You suddenly went mute towards me, without any reasons. Afterwards, I wasn't being myself for the following days. I stared into space, thinking unnecessary thoughts and my brain wasn't even working with me.
You are the next closest thing I have next to my bestfriend. I already lost my brother, nearly lost my bestfriend, I don't wanna lose you next. We had so much fun together. Laughing about uncontrollably, random singing outbursts, slapping each other, daily curses and teases, deep talks, playing stupid and childish games, making ugly faces, nicknames and a hell lot more.
You healed my scar with the beauty of our friendship and I appreciate that. But what my heart can't comprehend is that why do I have feelings for you? Is this normal? To have feelings for your own best guyfriend? What if the same exact incident that happened to my bestfriend, happened to us? I wouldn't want that. I have doubts and questions, about you. About us. What is all this?
I know I shouldn't think about this matter now, esp when O's are nearing very soon. But I have to know. I just have to. Why did you keep giving me that glance? Why did you stare at me when I can feel your eyes on me? Why did you ignore me when I talked to you? Why did you refuse to look me in the eyes when we talk? Why did you keep giving me that smile? (which is so damn cute please don't stop smiling) Why why why? There's so many questions, and I need to find out the answers. That is, after O's of course. xx