I did a routine reality check on myself a few hours ago. I realized I did a major change to my own soul without noticing it. Ever since I joined MDIS and parted ways with my friends, I became more quiet. More distant to anybody I knew. I tried to be jovial again by mixing with a few of my old friends but I don't belong. It's like I can never connect as much as I am with my real friends. I tried to befriend my classmates but yet again, I feel even more uncommunicative. I am never part of anybody's group.
This made me into something I never am. The outcome made me hostile, numb and withdrawn from my social circle. My best friend is never as close to me as before. We do text but it's rare now. I guess she made new branches to her own social circle and maybe she's too busy adapting to her new school. I don't blame others for being how they are. I guess we are all too busy catching up with time that we often neglect others.
I don't wanna be how I am, but at the same time I still do. I feel life became more peaceful yet depressing. Oh the irony really baffles me sometimes. G'night.