Hello blogger. It has been a while since I updated and yes, I stated that I will update only when everything has gone back to normal. Well, some situations are, some are not.
I went to Ignite Music Festival yesterday. It was awesome. Cesspit and The Great Spy Experiment was fucking awesome I swear. I had not experience that much fun in weeks! Moshed my heart out and I swear all the anger that was cooped up inside got loose. But as usual, it wasn't enough. She was there yesterday at the event, and it was awkward as hell. I had no one to approach so I had to cling on to Dina and Mun. I didn't like the idea of having to stick to other cliques so I felt bad. During the concert, in the midst of getting my face punched and being tossed here and there, she held me. Sort of in a way protecting me. Idk if it's me or just me getting high from all the adrenaline rush but I appreciated that few gold moments of getting that sisterly luxury again. And that, my dear readers, had to be my last moments interacting with her.
Sigh, it hurts not having anyone being totally here for me but it is normal since I have been feeling that way for a long time. I don't know which one's worse, to tell someone your story - who doesn't understand you truthfully or who tells their own bffs my story. It wasn't easy pushing away the most person you cared about. Fuck, it was probably the hardest and hurtful thing to do. If I had given a wish that can be fulfilled, I would have wished for everything to be normal again. Or I would have wished happiness for her. But whatever, if she reads this, I'm sure she would have said, "You asked for it in the first place, bitch." Haha, but yes. Sigh................. it's not easy knowing the fact that she may have told all the cruel things I've done to her to other people and what they might judge. But no, I won't let it affect my train of thoughts. I have had tonnes of people judging me for what I am not. Even the ones who proudly claim they do not judge. Please, who are we kidding here?
So yes, that issue has not changed yet and I doubt it will in the future. But other issues have been ongoing pretty well. Met many new people during Ignite. New bonds were made and I really hope it will continue on smoothly. That is all for now folks. G'day.